So yesterday I posted on Facebook that I’m going to do this blog. Then I hummed and hayed about it after I clicked post. For this is the most personal that I have ever gotten with you. For this is the most unsure times I have faced.
Before when I was injured I could rehab myself back to as normal as I ever get. This thing I’m facing might not be fixed that way. I’m looking at surgery. This is the first time since I was little that I have faced so many surgeries. I have to say this year is going to be one that I’m going to find myself relaying on the sanity of writing and reading books. That is my safe heaven when things are crazy.
I was in an accident some time ago now that effected my neck, spine and muscles. They say my condition tensed every single one of them to stop my body getting injured. Normal people’s bodies let go of their tense muscles when the danger is over. My body only decided to let go of some of the muscles in my body. As the doctor said there shouldn’t be any reason I got up and walked home that night. (well drove but out of the ER)
Now I’m here talking to you after 2 days ago having CT and Xrays done on my unstable neck. This is a injury that would have ended my dance career if it wasn’t all ready in moth balls. That realization kind of hurts because I think every dancer thinks they will return. I guess that there is a lot of wrestlers who feel the same way out there. They can’t return and must find other ways to release what they have inside them creatively.
I knew that I wouldn’t get through this if it wasn’t for the likes of Ian by my side talking me out of the darker thoughts one gets. Rhino and Joe who have both had issues with their necks in the past. Debbie who has kept me in her wedding and given me one of the biggest beacons of light to be drawn too. Katarina. She is the inspiration for me to keep writing Marie’s World despite the hard time its received on Amazon.
During my next year I know that I’m not going to be facing this scary time alone. I’ll be working with my literary agent Emma and Brenda to find homes to the books I’ve completed. Yes there is finished books waiting to be signed so hopeful there will be less depressing news on here soon. I do have a Shane Helms post to do soon which might also gain some giggles from the female readers who surf this blog.
I’m going to head off now as I have a mountain of edits to finish and I know that time with Ian is the most important thing to me right now. I hope that this shows that no matter what odds that is placed in front of me because of my condition that I still write. I still find a way and that is important to me. I want you all to find a way and to make it so that your life is everything that you want it to be.
Do what makes you happy and nothing else will seem so daunting. Always know that your not alone with your health, relationship or life problems. The person who’s next to you on the bus or on the street is going through some of the hardest things in their life too. We all learn how to survive and to live. But together we make this life wonderful.
Keep that in mind and have a wonderful Sunday.